You must be knowing People have varied opinions on you. Quite colorful indeed. No matter what the believers or the rest say, one thing i have come to know for sure, they just can’t stop talking about you. That’s what intrigued me about knowing a little more about you in the first place. I never gave much thought to you before, because i really never thought i could question your existence. But when i understood that one could question what seemed to me the fundamental, that’s when the mess began.
I thought too much. Should i keep believing in you despite the lack of proofs or theories? Is that progressive? What is the trend nowadays anyways!? Urgh.. I was so confused. Being trapped somewhere in the middle of being a believer and not. Did choosing you mean not taking the modern approach? Did i care so much about the so called modern approach. That reminds me, I’ve got to figure out my views on feminism and do i have to give a damn about it.
Anyhoo, amidst all the doubting and uncertainty somehow my mind resigned. I was tired. Tired of trying to figure out every single thing and answering every single how. Finally, I let go and i held on.
Held on to that sound in my head that keeps me company. That feeling emancipating from my gut every time i made a life altering or trivial decision. I didn’t choose to hold on to you, you know. The decision was an already made one. I was just trying to shake you off and fight you for all the wrong reasons. The truth is, you are so much more than just a noun. You’ve done so much for me and i promise never to sway again. Because as much as i need you, I’d like to believe you need me too. I’d like to believe that all those talks we have, you enjoy them too. And I’d like to thank you. For not giving up on me, when i cursed and blamed you for all that went wrong. But mostly for this last decision you made for me. With every passing day i realize how grateful i am that you made me do what I’m doing. So thank you, really thank you for believing in me because in the end, that’s all that keeps us going.
P.S. i hope your sister Destiny wasn’t offended that i didn’t adress this letter to her. Do give her my love and tell her she means just as much.